So I had a bit of a rough week last week.
Or, rather, I should say that the last half of it or so was kinda rough. I was very anxious to hear back about the Internship of My Life, and I was supposed to hear back from it Friday.
I was not rejected, but the response I got was not satisfying, delaying this process of admission even more rather than giving me an answer.
It was on Monday that I had a realization that even if I got the internship, it was highly possible that I would be placed in a town in the middle of nowhere, and I would be facing the same kind of loneliness and boredom that I did last summer. I am very much afraid of that. Like… whoa.
Anyway, those were sort of the operative things going on in my life, not to mention that I had stuff due for my classes and was almost unable to focus on anything past Friday.
So, I was kinda stressed. And where did I turn?
Yes, the ice cream.
If we remember from a previous post, ice cream has never been a big vice of mine. There’s a point which sweet things just make me nauseous, and I don’t enjoy them as much.
But sugar still ups the dopamine-thingies in the body, so eating ice cream, even if I don’t like it that much, still makes me feel better. So, yeah, I had quite a bit of ice cream last week.
It’s pretty depressing to think that you have at least somewhat handled your stress eating problems and then to realize that all you’ve done at this point was replace the potatoes and salty things with something that you don’t even like as much.
Needless to say I was — am — frustrated. The ice cream and the stress are likely the reasons why I didn’t lose much weight this week.
Of course, the thing that I really need for stress is exercise, and that’s the one thing I really can’t do. Sure, I could go swimming or rowing or lift weights or some such, but… I dunno. I feel like it’s not the same. I do TKD because I intrinsically enjoy it, and I feel like exercising out of obligation or to intentionally relieve stress would only add to it. Maybe I haven’t really given it enough of a chance, but the reason why doing TKD is stress-relieving for me is because I like it so much. There is the added exercise component to it that does help, but I feel like doing something I don’t enjoy just to get rid of stress would be counter-productive.
Finals are around the corner, and I can only imagine my anxiety and stress will increase. I have taken to doing pushups when I get cravings, so perhaps that will help. I don’t know for sure, but I know that, along with potatoes, ice cream is now off the menu.