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6 Week challenge

I alluded in one of my last posts that I had joined a fitness community called, nerdfitness. Said community has these awesome things called “6-week challenges.” Basically, you set goals for yourself and 6 weeks to complete them. Let the madness ensue.

The rules are that you have to have 3 fitness goals and one personal goal. Here’s my thread if you want to keep track.  My goals are largely personal, in an attempt to make use of the ABUNDANT spare time I have. Some of the physical things I want to do (go rock climbing, travel via bicycle) are put on hold, at least temporarily, because of financial things. For example, riding a bike in Atlanta when you don’t have health insurance is a REALLY bad idea, and money is required for rock climbing. So they will wait till I get a job. Hopefully that will be soon.

But yes. I’m focusing a good bit of my time on five projects: Thoughts on Liberty (blog), sewing, this blog, graphic design, and web design. I’m trying to build up my skills and make some really cool stuff.

Fitness and food wise, I’m largely tightening up bolts. There are a couple of things in TKD warm ups that I am noticeably failing at: sit ups/curl ups and push ups. So I have goals to amp those up in 6 weeks.

Probably most importantly, I have goals to finally incorporate job hunting into my schedule. I’ve enjoyed my time off, but now its time to get to business. I needs meh a job, and it doesn’t matter if I have to move to get there (even if I don’t really want to).

So, yes, in sum: expect more content on the blog, at least for the next six weeks or so. Unless I get a job. Then it’s kind of whatev.


I do what I want

Sometimes I think that people choose to diet because they think that, once they get down to their goal weight, they will be like the skinny friends that they envy. That is, they’ll be able to eat whatever it is that they want and not get fat. Getting skinny is a way to get back to the lifestyle that they wanted to live.

I catch myself thinking that sometimes, that I won’t have to worry as much about the kinds of foods I eat once I get down to my goal weight. That I can have chicken tenders, lots of cheese, and pizza. In moderation, of course (yeah right).

There are lots of flaws with this thinking.

First of all, yes, there are lots of people who can eat whatever and however much that they want and not get fat. But those people are fewer and farther between than we think. Most thin people generally eat less and more often than heavier people. They also tend to eat better and have a better relationship with food. It is these things that help them maintain their thinness. The idea that they eat whenever and however they want is an illusion that we create around them.

We isolate the incidences we see of them chowing down on pizza and bread sticks with us, or the time they drink a keg at a party (gross), or how much popcorn they have at a movie. We notice these incidences of over-indulgence because they match up with our expectations of how they should eat. We miss the fact they eat about half of what heavier people do, eat a lot of things that are better for them, and don’t stress eat.

So this idea of the person who can eat whatever they want and not get fat is largely an illusion. Additionally, even if there were, it is clear that if you’re a person who has gotten to a point where your weight is a problem and you want to lose that weight, then you’re not one of those people. So, when you get down to your goal weight, you shouldn’t expect to eat like you did… cause that’s what got you fat in the first place.

It seems like a really obvious thing, but like I said, I’ve caught myself thinking about it too. Being skinny does not mean you get to eat whatever it is that you want.  Thinness is a function of eating better, and so it is illogical to assume that once you get thin, you’ll have the “magic” that those fabled “reckless eating thin people” do.

This is why we make lifestyle changes instead of going on “diets.” What you are doing, and should be doing, is adapting healthy habits of thin people, and keeping them to maintain thinness.

If I sound like I’m scolding, I am. I’m scolding myself for being an idiot.


Things I look forward to…

This is a post that I have been wanting to make ever since I started the diet. They are the things that I am looking forward to when I am down to 135lbs.


This deserves a whole big category, cause there’s a LOT I look forward to about the bra section.

1) Strapless bras.

They do not make strapless bras in 34 G, I can tell you that much. My hope/plan is that when I get down to my goal weight, I will have a relatively normal bra size, and thus can throw on a strapless when I want to wear something without sleeves or spaghetti straps.  I’d love to be able to wear this dress



Without having to wear a corset.

2) Wal-Mart bras.

Most big retailers that sell cheap bras do not sell my 185lb size — the previously mentioned 34 G. The reason why I’m looking forward to these cheaply made imitation to the bras that I have now is because they’re SO MUCH CHEAPER!!!111!! The two bras I own now cost me $68 each, and I look at other people I know with drawers FULL of bras and I’m jealous of them.

3) Pretty bras.

Another fun fact about wearing at 34 G — they only come in three sizes: black, beige, and and white.

Look, guys, I’m 22 years old and I want more from my underwear than that! I would be satisfied with just solid color bras.

So, I hope against hope that once this is all over, I will be within the standard bra sizes for the United States and, even if I can’t purchase my bras at Wal-Mart or Target, I can at least step into a Victoria’s Secret and buy a reasonably priced bra that fits, feels, good, and doesn’t make me feel like an old lady.

Dealing with the Heat

For bigger people, heat sucks. Just, generally. In Georgia, the heat +humidity makes it even worse. For example:

1) Thighs not chafing.

Yes, friends, my thighs rub together when I walk, and in the summer they sweat and chafe, and it’s pretty darn painful. I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to being able to wear a skirt or a short pair of shorts outside in the summer again. To be able to cool off that way.

I thought about posting a picture of thunder thighs, but I figured I'd be nice.

2) Cooling off easier.

Though this is a relative advantage in the winter, when you have a lot of fat on you, you retain heat much, much easier. This is not so advantageous in the summer heat. As someone who already has a low basal temperature, it makes summers particularly brutal. I am known to get SAD in the summer time because I am generally miserable.

Physical Things Becoming Easier

1) Taekwondo

I have already seen ridiculous improvements in this area, but I can only imagine it getting easier. Especially as I improve my flexibility and my strength. It only saddens me that I will, at least for a while, be without it.

2) Running

Yes, I am still on my running… thing. Weighing less will definitely help in my running once I get that started again (two weeeeeks).

3) Life

I am thinking here about walking up stairs, moving in/out of my apartment (though that’s gonna be a bitch regardless), walking around whatever city I happen to live in, perhaps biking if/when it’s appropriate. Weighing less and being in better shape is going to help infinitely in those regards.

This one is just because I fucking love these dresses.

That’s it for me. I have procrastinated my work long enough.


Ten Dollars Per Pound Initiative

I have been pondering, as we all know, how to set up a rewards system for me and losing weight. Thus far, it hasn’t been too much of an issue, as dropping weight like it’s hot, being more fit, and eating well is more than enough motivation for me.

But the more I think about it, the more I think that certain things will become an issue as I creep towards that fifty-pound goal. Namely, fitting into my clothing.

I am prepared to belt up and be baggy for the next few months until I graduate, but I will hopefully be moving into the job world thereafter and I will need some help to be able to afford things that fit me.

That is the practical version.

The silly, reward part of it is that, despite my best efforts, I really like to shop. And that doesn’t necessarily include shopping for clothes, but electronics and books are way up there too.

So here is my plan:

I want to save up ten dollars for every pound that I lose. When I hit the magic marker, I will  have $500 to spend however I wish. If that means new clothes, then good. If I want the Collected Works of David Hume in addition to some other books, that’s good too. If I want a new computer, or to get a fancy new phone, all the better. I want to have $500 to do whatever I want with it, as a reward for shirking off this weight.

Here is where YOU, my humble readers, come in.

I don’t make enough money to be able to save up $500 by May (when I will probably reach my goal) or by December (my original goal), because I am ALSO saving up for that big “what if” after graduation. I have committed myself to $25/mo for this goal, but there are two problems:

1) If we are sticking to 10 dollars per pound, then I already owe myself about $120, which I just don’t have. I am also in a vaguely-not-financially-stable situation, as I don’t get paid till about the 18th (as previously discussed).

2) If some/any/one of you would be willing to match my contributions, that would be fantastic. I know some of you don’t make a lot of money or any money, like me, but any small amount would be helpful.

So, without any further ado:

I will try and make this a permanent widget on the sidebar over there, so whenever you are feeling generous, click away.

It should be noted that if I continue at my current rate, I will lose 8- 10 pounds a month.  That may taper out some, but we shall see.

Even if you cannot financially help, everyone commenting, reading, and giving me high fives in the hall before class has been so enormously helpful and amazing. The support I am getting from everyone sometimes overwhelms me. Thank you.

Lots of love,


Stress, frustrations, and.. other things

Maybe it’s the weather, but I am feeling very down today, and I was yesterday too.  Since one of the main contributing factors to my weight is stress eating, I figure it might be fruitful to try and express some of the feelings rather than keeping them to myself.

Trying to eat paleo at my school is really…impossible. I went into the dining hall yesterday for lunch and the only thing I could eat was chicken soup, and even it had potatoes in it that I had to eat around. I ended up meeting up with my friend Annalise and had a grilled chicken breast over a bed of spinach, but there’s not much I can do about that. I might have the same thing again today. It’s frustrating, even though I have a sense of pride from walking past the pasta and the french fries. Suzie over at Waste and Taste is bringing her lunch to school, which sounds like a great idea … if you can afford that sort of thing, which, I can’t.

Which brings me to the greatest grump-factor in my life at the moment. My school, again in its brilliance, has constructed a situation in which I don’t get paid till March. It is not as if I am going to run out of money, but I still don’t like pulling from my savings, and I don’t like the fact that I can’t spend my birthday money, even though I know that depositing it is the responsible thing to do. I was really happy when I built up my savings last semester, and now that seems to be crumbling at my feet, and I’m frustrated with that.

I’m also switching banks soon, so that is something else I need/have to worry about.

My classes on Monday and Wednesday look to be good, with my T/Th not quite as much. Fiction workshop just makes me feel very self-conscious, and the professor makes me feel uncomfortable. For some reason, I had forgotten these things from when I took intro to fiction with her. I have yet to figure out how I can manage that class and that professor, but I think I need to figure it out soon else my self-esteem will take a nose dive. haha.

As much as I don’t want to admit it and I don’t want to think about it, the fact that I haven’t heard back from the internship that I want this summer worries me. It makes sense for me to be worried because I’ve kinda got most of my eggs in this basket, and it’s past the time that last year they said I had made it to the second round. But at the same time, the application deadline hasn’t even passed yet, so I really, really, need to chill.

^^ That is something that I’m embarrassed about being worried about.

I’m also really sick and tired of waking up and having to blow my gods-loving brains out due to the sickness. I can’t WAIT for that to be done.

Now that I’m done bitching …

I’m going to try some of that “positive thinking” that I have said I was going to try.

First and foremost, my boss just brought me a smoothie.

Hell yes. Neta’s the best.

I don’t think I’m technically supposed to have it because I’m “drinking calories,” but I have said to myself that I am going to make an exception for smoothies, as long as they don’t have dairy in them. Anyway, it is tasty, and my boss is awesome. End of story.

I haven’t written about it here yet, but on Monday I broke my board in Taekwondo, which, if you remember, did not go well the first time. I also got my yellow belt!!! 😀 So I am actually pretty stoked about that. I will have to get pictures up here soon, but I can’t at the moment.

I have some other good news that is not yet widely known, largely because I don’t want to jinx it. So I won’t write about it here, but I am thinking about it in my head. Mmmmm…. yay. 😀

I have a wonderful, excellent boyfriend who loves me and is willing to let me borrow his laptop for school, since my netbook’s battery is having issues.

My best friend has been a lot more present this semester, owing to the fact that we have a class together and I have made more of an effort to do my homework (or, you know, not do it) in the living room. I also have more time to spend, having left my second job due to sanity issues (his).

I don’t have to go to Savannah this Wed-Thurs, due to the fact that attempting to sing makes my throat seize up, and no one wants that in a concert.

The weather is nice and chilly even if it is cloudy, and I love the wind on my face.

Monetarily, I am lucky/fortunate that I could save up some money so I don’t have to go into debt or not pay my bills in order to make ends meet.

They haven’t rejected me! 😀

Even though I gained 3.5 pounds, I am convinced that some of it is mucus, and I will be back on track to lose 50 pounds before this coming December!

So there.