I had a pretty stressful and sad-making class today. So when I got into the dining hall and found nothing to eat, I shamelessly went and filled up a cup full of frozen yogurt, and that became my lunch.
I fully recognize that this was stress eating, and I will talk in some way about that particular instance later, but I wanted to talk about this article first.
“Emotional Eating isn’t ALWAYS Bad,” is the name of the article which I posted to my facebook page.
The general thrust of the argument is that it’s okay to use food to ease your emotions so long as you do it with presence of mind and you do it efficiently and in a controlled manner.
I pretty much vehemently disagree with this principle. I have come to see emotional eating as on-par with doing drugs. When you’re upset and you go to smoke a joint or drink booze or eat ice cream, you’re knowingly ingest a chemical that you know will make you feel better instead of dealing with the stress and anxiety that got you that way in the first place. You’re covering up your unhappiness instead of changing the situation in which you have become unhappy. To me, that kind of behavior is irresponsible and essentially immoral.
So I’ve pretty much begun to consider emotional eating as equal to ingesting drugs. So to me to say that you can emotionally eat as long as its controlled and you do so with a presence of mine is equally morally wrong as it would be if you said the same of drugs.
I should take time to point out that this is a personal moral conviction. I am not the kind of person who is willing to demand that everyone adhere to my moral code. But this is mine, and that’s what I’m working with.
The notion of guilt
There is a common theme in diet blogs that you DO NOT feel guilty when you end up eating emotionally. There is a certain type of logic to this: if you consume yourself with guilt then you’re more likely to stress eat again and again. So I definitely don’t think it’s a good idea.
But I do think it’s dangerous to not hold yourself accountable for the emotional eating that you do. If you do not recognize that what you have done is wrong, then you have no incentive to not do it again. When you kill someone or when you hurt someone’s feelings, there is an awareness of having done something wrong that you need to have in order to keep you from doing that again.
If you just sorta pass off your stress eating as something that is natural and okay, then you forget why it is that you’re trying not to do it in the first place.
So it’s important to not beat yourself up to the point where you get caught in a vicious cycle of stress eating, making yourself feel bad, and then stress eating some more, but you can’t completely absolve yourself of responsibility for your actions.
Don’t give in to emotional eating. Part of not giving in is not berating yourself into stress eating more. But Part of it is also not absolving yourself of responsibility of your actions. Acknowledge the fact that you just drugged yourself out. Tell yourself that it was wrong (or bad, as the case may be). Don’t forget about it. Don’t let yourself make that instance of stress eating okay, cause it’s not.
But don’t wallow in self-pity. Resolve to do better next time. You can’t really improve unless you recognize and understand what you’ve done wrong.
So back to my frozen yogurt lunch. Do I feel guilty about it? No, but I am acutely aware that I have violated my moral codes, and I am working on changing it so that I can do better next time.
… to resist “bad” foods. I have been good, but while before I didn’t have any sort of cravings, now they assault me at every corner.
Chiefly, I really really really want pizza.
I’ve been thinking about why the sudden onslaught of carb cravings, and I think part of it is due to stress/unhappiness. The past week has, as I have said, been brutal, just with the amount of stuff that I have to do. And then I went and got sick again, which has made me so upset that I’ve broken down at least three times about it. I just got better — I don’t want to be sick again. So I think that’s part of it too.
I knew that getting back to the stress of school would be hard on my resolve, and I feel like this is just the beginning. Being sick doesn’t help, cause doing TKD definitely helps my stress levels, too. We shall see. I have stayed strong thus far and the sooner I get better, the… uh… better.
One of the things that I was able to do, though, was walk past the Dairy Queen, so I made myself a smoothie when I got home.
It does have half-and-half in it, but I have already said I have a dairy exception for smoothies. It is pretty tasty, though I wish I had thought to put the cinnamon in the blender instead of on top of the smoothie. Lessons learned, I suppose.
Due to my frustrations of being sick, I have been recommended by no less than two people I respect to start taking a multivitamin. Usually I balk at such thing, especially since I have never had a problem with my health before, but considering my change in diet and the fact that I’ve gotten sick twice in the past month, I decided to go ahead and give it a try.
I hate hate hate taking pills, so Natalie recommended that I get gummy vitamins! So here they are. Yes, they are loaded with sugar and glucose. No, they are not really paleo, but I think I will live. In fact, this is to support me living. I think it’s more likely that I’ll take them if they’re in gummy form rather than pill form, so there they are.
With that, I am going to enjoy the rest of my Friday. I got a CSS manual that I am actually looking forward to diving into, so I’m going to go do that.