Oh my gods, I love pizza.
Or, I guess I should say, I know I used to.
I haven’t had pizza in gods know how long, and whenever I think about “breaking” paleo, pizza is the first thing I jump to. When I think about staying on the paleo diet, thinking about never ever having pizza again is usually the first thing that pops into my mind.
Here’s the dilemma. If I’m not hungry, looking at that picture of pizza makes my stomach turn.
So I both desire and am repulsed by pizza. Even still, the idea of pizza is somehow attractive to me. This has been an ever-present dilemma the past few weeks as this craving for pizza has just popped up over and over again.
I was thinking it would be worthwhile to try and have a slice, much like the Dairy Queen experiment, just to see what happens. But I am very cautious because pizza is something that I actively want, and it is also something that I have used as a stress food/fun food in the past. When I think about eating pizza, I think about ordering a pizza, sitting down with Anthony and Darcy and watching a movie. I think about good times with my dad.
So you see the dilemma. I am repulsed by the idea of pizza (in the carnation that I used to eat it — Pizza Hut) because it’s greasy and gross and has lots of stuff on it that’s really bad for me. But I want it, I think, because I miss hanging out with Darcy, Dad, and in some ways, Anthony (I have been really busy with work lately).
Hm. I had no idea that last sentence was going to come out until it was typed. This post has now become something that I didn’t intend.
Clearly, pizza is not the solution to these problems. Given the circumstances of all three situations, I am not sure if could be remedied. But perhaps now that I am aware of the manifestation of pizza as a sign that something needs to be fixed, I can take a better approach.
I had planned this post to outline a system of testing non-paleo foods, to see how my body reacts to them and to give some more “data” to my consideration of making paleo into a lifestyle. But perhaps I have some other thinking to do. I am sure such a post, if it’s even still necessary, will come later.
… to resist “bad” foods. I have been good, but while before I didn’t have any sort of cravings, now they assault me at every corner.
Chiefly, I really really really want pizza.
I’ve been thinking about why the sudden onslaught of carb cravings, and I think part of it is due to stress/unhappiness. The past week has, as I have said, been brutal, just with the amount of stuff that I have to do. And then I went and got sick again, which has made me so upset that I’ve broken down at least three times about it. I just got better — I don’t want to be sick again. So I think that’s part of it too.
I knew that getting back to the stress of school would be hard on my resolve, and I feel like this is just the beginning. Being sick doesn’t help, cause doing TKD definitely helps my stress levels, too. We shall see. I have stayed strong thus far and the sooner I get better, the… uh… better.
One of the things that I was able to do, though, was walk past the Dairy Queen, so I made myself a smoothie when I got home.
It does have half-and-half in it, but I have already said I have a dairy exception for smoothies. It is pretty tasty, though I wish I had thought to put the cinnamon in the blender instead of on top of the smoothie. Lessons learned, I suppose.
Due to my frustrations of being sick, I have been recommended by no less than two people I respect to start taking a multivitamin. Usually I balk at such thing, especially since I have never had a problem with my health before, but considering my change in diet and the fact that I’ve gotten sick twice in the past month, I decided to go ahead and give it a try.
I hate hate hate taking pills, so Natalie recommended that I get gummy vitamins! So here they are. Yes, they are loaded with sugar and glucose. No, they are not really paleo, but I think I will live. In fact, this is to support me living. I think it’s more likely that I’ll take them if they’re in gummy form rather than pill form, so there they are.
With that, I am going to enjoy the rest of my Friday. I got a CSS manual that I am actually looking forward to diving into, so I’m going to go do that.