… to resist “bad” foods. I have been good, but while before I didn’t have any sort of cravings, now they assault me at every corner.
Chiefly, I really really really want pizza.
I’ve been thinking about why the sudden onslaught of carb cravings, and I think part of it is due to stress/unhappiness. The past week has, as I have said, been brutal, just with the amount of stuff that I have to do. And then I went and got sick again, which has made me so upset that I’ve broken down at least three times about it. I just got better — I don’t want to be sick again. So I think that’s part of it too.
I knew that getting back to the stress of school would be hard on my resolve, and I feel like this is just the beginning. Being sick doesn’t help, cause doing TKD definitely helps my stress levels, too. We shall see. I have stayed strong thus far and the sooner I get better, the… uh… better.
One of the things that I was able to do, though, was walk past the Dairy Queen, so I made myself a smoothie when I got home.
It does have half-and-half in it, but I have already said I have a dairy exception for smoothies. It is pretty tasty, though I wish I had thought to put the cinnamon in the blender instead of on top of the smoothie. Lessons learned, I suppose.
Due to my frustrations of being sick, I have been recommended by no less than two people I respect to start taking a multivitamin. Usually I balk at such thing, especially since I have never had a problem with my health before, but considering my change in diet and the fact that I’ve gotten sick twice in the past month, I decided to go ahead and give it a try.
I hate hate hate taking pills, so Natalie recommended that I get gummy vitamins! So here they are. Yes, they are loaded with sugar and glucose. No, they are not really paleo, but I think I will live. In fact, this is to support me living. I think it’s more likely that I’ll take them if they’re in gummy form rather than pill form, so there they are.
With that, I am going to enjoy the rest of my Friday. I got a CSS manual that I am actually looking forward to diving into, so I’m going to go do that.
I know that I have posted already today, but it’s been a while since I’ve done a food accountability check, so I wanted to do that, and also take some recognition for some non-cosmetic aspects of having lost weight.
First, the food:
Breakfast was in the dining hall again, due to lack of fruitage. I had five sausage links in a cup, and they were tasty. I didn’t take a picture, cause I just took them to work and nommed on them.
Lunch, I did get a picture of. It’s nothing special:
This beauty is two chicken breasts a la Mollies with some lettuce, carrots, and hot sauce poured over it. It was pretty tasty, but the smoothie was the best. I am going to perfect the Mollie’s Salad if it kills me.Dinner was another half of a chicken breast with the mesquite marinade that Anthony and I cooked sometime this weekend.
I miss my fruit, though. I’m gonna have too much fun shopping this weekend.
There were a couple of things that I wanted to touch on, also. I’ve been focusing on a lot of the “cosmetic” aspects of losing weight. Essentially, focusing on the poundage. Tonight I did another one of those weight mirror image things, and I stared at it for a while. No joke. I want to shift this focus, at least for a moment, because I believe in the utility of the body being the primary concern, and aesthetic concerns come second. SO, I want to talk about the change I (finally) noticed in my fitness.
The first thing that I started to notice was that things like walking to the Decatur and back did not make me tired or sore like it used to, that walking back from “Shasta” (my zip car of choice) was not a chore. Additionally, trekking up the stairs to my apartment on the third floor does not make me breathy anymore (though my legs still hurt sometimes).
These were all little things that I had begun to notice and appreciate, but it didn’t really hit home till TKD yesterday.
It’s not like it happened overnight, but I was in a good enough place to see it and realize that doing all of the kicking that we did, the forms, etc. was not as debilitatingly taxing as it had been in the past. I was out of breath, but not panting. Hot and sweating, but not faint. Tired, but exhilarated. It is significant and exciting for me because a LOT of my issues in Taekwondo have been issues of my fitness. Because I got tired so quickly, I couldn’t focus as much as I would like on other things that I wanted to, and I was perpetually upset about not being able to keep up.
I know that there are good days and bad days, but it was deeply, deeply satisfying to have that good day. Now I can start working on my splits and being able to do push ups, and kicking Nicki’s ass (though that will take a lot longer…).
Additionally, as some may have seen on my facebook page, I found out today that I no longer qualify as obese by BMI. Though I really don’t put a WHOLE lot of stock in BMI measurements (seems like a height-weight chart is pathetically simpleton), it’s a cool threshold to reach, and something that I am at least moderately pleased with. I am just closer and closer to being healthy.
Now I must adjourn to put away the laundry that has been sitting on my bed for two days… ><